YOGA by Brittney

I'm not sure why I stopped blogging about my recovery. Maybe because I started believing that it's not a topic that should be shared openly, shamelessly. Heaven forbid someone not like me. The best thing we can ever do in this life is be true to who we are. This means all the things that make us uniquely individual - to include our flaws and sometimes the things we don't want the world to see. I just had the BEST weekend, and I spent so many moments overflowing with gratitude for my life. My Chinese roommate from the Arhanta Yoga Ashram in India was visiting the US for the first time, so I went up to NYC to see her. We ate yummy vegan food, went to yoga and walked around shopping for things I couldn't afford. I stayed the night with one of my best friends from High School. We laughed and talked in the way it feeds your soul. I soaked in the views from her apartment, we ate brunch on the water front, I went to a flea market in the city where I bought more heal...

No Sugar, No Gluten, No Dairy... My 10 Day "Shred" Begins... Throughout my teenage years I struggled with bulimia - I started modeling when I was 10, and my obsession with food, restricting and purging became a big problem. My face was always bloated. Blood vessels in and around my eyes were burst. I was in NYC for an event with my agency, and in my hotel room, my mom heard me throwing up after I turned the shower on. It wasn't long after, by the grace of God, I managed to stop the cycle of binging and purging. In college, counting calories, diet pills and exercising 3 hours a day became my obsession. When my drinking and partying escalated from 2011 -2014 I lost a lot of weight. I liked that, plus how alcohol made me feel. I began my sober journey in 2014 . (This was 2012-ish, I weighed a little over 100lbs, at 5'6") Controlling food was considered an "old way of thinking" - so since 2014, I really haven't made any attempts...

When I was younger, I moved to LA for a short while, and to NYC as well. I also traveled frequently to Minnesota. I always loved to "get away." It was nothing for me to pick up and go, and it didn't seem I was close enough to anyone for it to impact me. After college the world travel and moving around continued into and all around DC. I found friends, but kept them at a distance. (Me in Paris, where I enjoyed too much champagne.)  In March of 2014, I found my way into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I managed to string together my first 30 days of sobriety after a messy year of trying to escape myself. I'd come to the realization I had a problem - that once I started drinking, I couldn't stop or control my drinking.  Around the 40 day mark, I was to go on a trip to Vegas with the start-up I was working for. I decided to start drinking again, already having made the decision I would drink on the trip. It was immediately clear to me, I wasn't dr...

It would be really nice to have a glass of wine with dinner. I miss having cocktails with friends, and holidays, like Halloween, make me miss letting loose and "having fun." Those are no longer privileges of mine though, unfortunately. You see, I am bodily and mentally different from others. I have a genetic predisposition (nature), plus my environment throughout life has contributed (nurture) - whatever, it's who I am.  I respond to alcohol different from my fellows; I'm essentially allergic, except instead of it being like an allergy to strawberries, for instance, I'm judged harshly for it - and it can wreck havoc on not only my life, but my families as well when/if I choose to consume it. Also - I have a mind that prioritizes alcohol over basic living needs for survival, and a body that craves it. Do people who are allergic to strawberries have strong cravings and a mental obsession for them? I'm not sure, but I doubt when people who are allergic to stra...

"The essential lesson I've learned in life is to just be yourself. Treasure the magnificent being that you are and recognize first and foremost you're not here as a human being only. You're a spiritual being having a human experience." - Wayne Dyer Early in February, I met a lady who I've come to affectionately refer to as a spiritual advisor. Her life's work is a vast understanding of the subconscious. In one of our first conversations, she gave me the name of someone else I should connect with professionally. I happened to know this person already, but shortly after I started subbing yoga classes for her and we began getting to know one another on a more personal level. Eventually, this friend referred me to the owner of Red Dirt Running Company to be a vendor for the Cornhusker State Games earlier this summer. While at the State Games, I met a couple who approached me after reading my "YOGA by Brittney" sign. The lady, who I'll ...

I have now been a vegetarian for a total of two weeks. My reasoning for eliminating meat in my diet is two fold: 1) I have a very sensitive digestive tract and needed to make some sort of change, and 2) One of the five yamas (self-restraints, or moral and ethical   guidelines for yogis ) is Ahimsa, or non-violence, and I wanted to more deeply integrate this practice into my daily living in a way that was meaningful to me. I began with a one day Ayurvedic cleanse . Ayurveda is essentially a "Science of Life" that originated in India (like yoga) and marries yogic philosophy beautifully. Ayurveda teaches that the mind and the body are inextricably connected. The Khichdi cleanse is basically comprised of soft, easily digestible foods, tea and lots of water. It's meant for three days, but I didn't eat much meat to begin with, so I felt one day was sufficient for me as a digestive reset. For breakfast, I had plain oatmeal, and for lunch and dinner Khich...

It's a rare Strawberry Full Moon and Summer Solstice tonight + This yogi starling is six months sober and clean. Crazy, and cool, but not what this post is about...  It started here at Jivamukti Yoga School in New York City about a month ago, where I learned to do this pose below, Revolved Hand to Big Toe Pose, or Parivrtta Hasta Padangusthasana. (Side Note: What a feeling to be in front of this amazing wall of Inspirational Yogis!) We were in Wheel, or Urdhva Dhanurasana, during class when I saw the girl behind me lower to her forearms and begin to kick her leg up. She fell over and the instructor came running. I thought, "So THAT'S how you get into that dreamy looking pose!"  I figured since the student behind me took a tumble, I'd likely need a spotter and more practice before ever getting into the posture myself, but a seed was planted. I had drooled over images of other yogis in that asana on Instagram, but didn't think I was quite there yet. ...

When you get married, you hear from just about everyone, "enjoy the process" or "enjoy this time" and "enjoy every moment." Tough stuff when planning involves thinking about the future, and when coordination, details, vendors, food, friends, family, rings, and dances all seemingly demand your attention simultaneously. The same mentality applies though, with stress on the flip-side, when you go on a vacation (or honeymoon in my case); you just want to soak up every second and immerse yourself within every morsel of time... Ego aside, I figured if anyone I knew could really manage this almost ungraspable concept it should be me. So with the weeks prior and days within, I tried my very best, and truly hope to carry out my efforts to be present every day in the same way and share my lessons learned with you. Life is so short. And the passing of time is relative, as with all things. That's really what remained at the forefront of my mind throughout...

I think it was the Jim Carrey movie, "Yes Man" that first got me thinking about being a "Yes person." The idea is to begin a collection of experiences with positive affirmation, to change your life. The problem though, is that it's actually always been more difficult for me to say, "No." Just months ago, I decided to give my 8-5 job in finance a big ol' "NOPE!" Anxious all the time, and waking up depressed about going in to work, I decided to really listen to my heart. Why was I so miserable? I had great benefits, a salary that most my age would be excited about, and by all societal standards I should be happy - but I wasn't. Because I wasn't serving my soul. I wasn't doing what I loved or honoring my passions. So I quit. I quit being blamed for my bosses problems and quit the business of other-people pleasing; I quit the benefits, salary and steady hours; I quit ignoring my innermost desires. I ditched the work dres...

1. Life is still  really  good when you know how to count your blessings. Count the highest when it's hardest.  2. There is good in bad, and opportunity in every crisis.  3. Hard times can launch you into periods of immense spiritual and personal growth.  4. What makes you vulnerable, makes you more you.  5. Sharing your authentic self builds bridges for love, compassion and understanding to cross -- it also makes for a richer more vibrant human experience.  6. Shame and guilt are soul deadening vibrations.  7. More love. 8. Everything is temporary.  9. Happiness is a choice.  10. Embracing the whole journey is possible.

Look to this day,  For it is life,  The very life of life.  In its brief course lie all The realities and verities of existence,  The bliss of growth,  The splendor of action,  The glory of power -  For yesterday is but a dream,  And tomorrow is only a vision,  But today, well lived,  Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness  And every tomorrow a vision of hope.  Look well, therefore, to this day.  Sanskrit proverb by Kalidasa Fifth century A.D.  I found this beautiful sanskrit teaching within the first few pages of some of my AA literature. Sanskrit is a rich, ancient, Indic language used in yoga to define the asanas (poses). The Hindu scriptures are written in sanskrit.  There are no accidents or coincidences in my life. I love yoga and 12 step programs because both are spiritual ways of life, but neither are religions. Both encompass religious teachings and yet neither impose.  ...